The Color and The Race.

Barack Obama is NOT a Black man. Nor will he be the first Black president. He is biracial. His mother is white. His father Black.

Tiger Woods is NOT a Black man. Nor is he the greatest Black golfer in the history of the game. His mother is Thai. His father biracially Black and white.

Halle Berry is NOT a Black woman. Nor is she the first Black woman to win an Oscar for ‘Best Actress’. Her mother is white. Her father Black.

Mariah Carey is NOT a Black woman. She is insane.

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There are numerous examples of other multi-ethnic folks out there who tend to take on their minority ethnicity as the sum whole of their being, either voluntarily or not. We are, as a society, divisive by nature. We like to put anyone or anything that is even remotely different into their own special little box. We say that we’re doing so as a way of ‘celebrating our differences’.

Really?

I used the examples of Obama, Woods, and Berry to demonstrate the validity of my next point. Shortly after the good ol’ slave days, a friendly term was created to handle any pesky confusion that may arise between Blacks and whites. It was called “the one drop rule”. It suggested that even a single drop of ‘negro’ blood in one’s veins renders them Black.

Actually, the logic applies to all non-white races, but is mostly applied to Blacks. A biracially Chinese and white person is more likely to be called “part Asian”, for example. A biracially Black and white person is usually simply ‘Black’, or refered to as the lovely ‘mulatto‘ – derived from spanish, meaning ‘young mule’. It originates from Spanish slave traders who considered biracial slaves useless. Good times.

When a presidential candidate’s ethnicity takes more precedence over the current two term president’s C Student grades, AWOL status, cocaine abusing days, and failed business ventures, it goes to show just how screwed up the world really is.

I look forward to the day when Barack and Woods are simply men, and Berry and Carey are simply women. Need we really say more?

(I really think that Carey IS insane though.)

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Published in: on March 18, 2008 at 12:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

My definition of a “bitch”.

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(And I’m using the word “bitch” in the gangsta sense, which means male OR female.)You may read the full story here if you wish, but if you ask me, my summary is far more entertaining.

Basically, this dude thought it would be the height of genius if he proposed to his girlfriend by placing the engagement ring into a helium filled balloon. The object was for her to literally ‘pop’ the balloon as he ‘popped’ the question.

Pretty smart, huh?

Instead, a gust of wind snatched the balloon into the heavens, leaving our hero empty-handed.

The intended was less than impressed, demanding that he replace the now departed ring with another. Problem was, he’d blown $12,000 on the first one, leaving him broke. This imbecile tried, in vain, to follow the ring-carrying balloon’s flight path, but eventually gave up.

She is now refusing to speak to him until he replaces the ring.

I say, dude, cut your losses and leave her.

Let’s review. Dude attempts to propose to this hag in an original – if stupid – way. She, failing to appreciate this, demands that he produce blood from a stone. He is hoping the ring still turns up, adding, “It would be amazing if someone found it.”

No, it would be amazing if people like you found a backbone and put jerks in their place. To be fair, however, my guess is that this guy is probably a bit of a f***-up to start with. It’s entirely possible that this is not the first idiotic thing he’s done, hence her less than kind reaction.

After all, any other caring woman would be mortified to know that her man spent a large fraction of his annual income on her engagement ring, only to lose it under such tragic circumstances.

This brings me to why I agree with Pamela Anderson’s choice of engagement ring: the tattooed variety. Ah, NOTHING says “Forever” quite like the tattooed ring. No worries about misplacement by drunken best men or freakish gusts of wind.

And best of all, you KNOW that the marriage will last forever!

PS: Speaking of “Can’t Buy Me Love”, looks like Heather Mills managed to milk ex-Beatle bonehead Paul “We Don’t Need A Pre-Nup” McCartney out of some $40 million CDN. Clearing those landmines must cost her a fortune…

Published in: on March 17, 2008 at 8:23 am  Comments (1)