OH, BABY!!! (Part One)

I’ve spent the past year jotting down ideas for blog posts, but ultimately not doing anything with them. Well, I’m back, baby! And I’ve got a few things on my mind.

Speaking of “baby”, am I alone in noticing a sudden explosion in the number of babies out there lately??? Or, more precisely, a sudden explosion in the number  of women having babies with partners they’ve known for less than a year? Women who have decided that “HOLY SH*T!!! I’m HOW OLD NOW??? I GOTTA JUMP ON THIS!!!”, as one recently put it?

There are a good number of them in the hood lately. One can imagine finding a list like this posted on their fridge:

1) Meet guy with pulse and job. (If he has a child, no problem. This means he’s open to children!)

2) Sell/get rid of everything, move in with guy within three months.

3) Get pregnant.

4) Talk constantly about impending motherhood and other “adult” subjects. (ie: “High taxation on the family”, “Montessori”, “Dr. Spock”…)

5) Post countless pictures of baby/embryo on social network(s) of choice.

Etc.

Back in the day, other women whispered about such women. (“Can you believe it? XYZ is PREGNANT! And it hasn’t even been that long!”) Now, many want to BE that woman. Getting to really know someone, then taking it to that next step just doesn’t work for their schedule, it seems.

I’m not standing on the pulpit, trying to tell people what they should or shouldn’t do. Nor am I trying to dis women. But as they actually make the decision to become pregnant and/or keep the child, it stands to reason that this should be primarily about women. (Her body, her choice, yada, yada..)

Thinking about it now, their logic may be a product of where I live. Vancouver is infamous for its’ next to impossible dating scene, the ratio of women to men being something like 3:1. Great for the guys, not so great for the gals. Complicating matters is the fact that – according to many of my female friends – the guys here are crazy, and – according to many of my male friends – the women here are equally certifiable.

I suppose that it’s inevitable that they’d eventually hook up and make a baby. “Desperate times, desperate measures”, I suppose. But still.. I don’t get it. Maybe we should blame Demi for that baby bump pic that launched a billion copy-cats? At least she can say she was the first.

But what happens when they HAVE their babies? Honestly? Sometimes it can be downright ugly. (No, not the baby!!!)

(Stay tuned for Part Two!)

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Excellent blog! As much as I don’t want to agree with your thoughts on the matter (sad state of affairs in my opinion), I do. The tragic part in all of this is the end result: the babies. Too often, people make the decision to have children for selfish reasons. Being a parent is one of the most selfless jobs out there…or it should be anyway. It’ll be “interesting” to see how this generation of babies fares in the future.

    • My point exactly. I’m not sure we why, as a society, put such little stock in just how important parenting is.

  2. Woman are told they can have it all, but the reality is that we can’t do it all. Cultivating a career, relationship, or a family takes time and energy. Trying to accomplish two of these at the same time almost impossible. It is no wonder that more and more woman are having children later in life. There comes a time when a woman’s biological clock begins to tick louder than anything going on in her life and that is usually after the career and or relationship are solidified, but not always. This article trifles the complexity of older woman having children. While, I don’t advise becoming a parent without a stable partner and job, some woman might feel desperate in a race against time. Our eggs are only viable for so long, you know, and seeing the world procreating all around us, can really light a fire under those of us who don’t yet have children and want them.
    Children who are born to more mature woman/parents are actually more likely to be raised better with more education and have a better long-term outlook than those born from young women/teens.

  3. @ Lisa Marie: Sorry for the VERY late reply. I’d not been aware of your reply til today.

    Re: “Woman are told they can have it all, but the reality is that we can’t do it all..”

    Actually, no. Women have deluded THEMSELVES (via messages from their own gossip mags, talk shows, and each other) into believing that they can have it all. You can’t. Just like men can’t.

    Your logic suggests that just BECAUSE a woman’s clock is pounding, she has little choice but to become pregnant – even if it denies her child the stability a two-parent home CAN (not always, but “CAN”) provide. We’re not animals. We don’t have to follow every biological imperative we’re faced with. In other words, women don’t HAVE to have children. But they often CHOOSE to in order to appease their biological instinct.

    Similarly, men have certain biological imperatives too – including a natural attraction to procreate with younger women. This is nature’s way of telling him that younger women have better odds of successfully carrying his seed to full development. But North American society has taught us that older men who do so are “immature”, or “shallow”, or “pigs”. Double standards suck, no matter one’s gender.

    Thanks for the comment! All the best.


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