Father’s Day: A Day To Bash Dad

Mother’s Day is one of those sacred days where our mothers are nearly deified. We send cards, praise, flowers, gifts, poems, you name it. And it’s understandable; women carry us for 3/4 of a year, then bring us into this world. Then we torture them with nonstop crying (well, of course I didn’t!), late night feedings, and – oh yeah – we irreversibly change some of their bodies forever. For the last reason alone, they should be celebrated on their Special Day.

But for some moms, that isn’t enough.

This past Father’s Day weekend, the social networks were flooded with complimentary dedications to dads everywhere. I don’t mean “fathers”. I mean “DADS”. The guys who made their children feel safe. The guys who made it to recitals – or the ones who sadly missed them in order to take care of their families. The guys who showed up at games and almost got into a fist fight with the coach for benching their kid. These are the guys who laughed at their childrens’ stupid knock-knock jokes, the ones who busted their children smoking/drinking, but shared the cigarette/beer with them instead of screaming at them because he was just that cool.

The examples are endless.

But for some women who didn’t have such mates, they feel that they deserve both days. The father(s) of their child(ren) either took off, or was simply a loser to his family. (I suppose it’s redundant mentioning “men who run out on their families” and “losers” in the same sentence as they are one in the same.)

These women – who are, sadly, growing in number – took to the social networks this Father’s Day weekend to vent. One post literally said, “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO ALL THE SINGLE MOMS IN THE WORLD”. Many others were just plain rude. But when I looked closer, I saw a pattern: NONE of these single mothers seemed to take accountability for their actions, and none seemed to consider or care about the impact such comments can have on their child(ren).

I’m willing to assume that most women understand the mechanics of human reproduction. Have unprotected sex with a douche bag, you just may end up with douche’s child(ren). But for one reason or another, his douche-ness didn’t stop her from saying “F*** it – let’s DO IT!” Some more than once. As is often the case with douche bags, they didn’t stick around, or stuck around to beat the crap out of the mother of his children – or worse, the children themselves. Then the moms of douche’s child(ren) decide that venting on social networks for their children and the world to see is the way to go. Bravo.

I have a secret: I get the feeling that it’s a human problem more than a gender problem. I know more than a few men who (knowingly, and therefore stupidly) involved themselves with evil incarnate – women who snoop through their children’s social network pages for info to use against their child’s father, or who simply delete their child’s father without the child’s knowledge or permission, or who deny the fathers of their child(ren) access to their child. Even on Father’s Day. Even by phone. Even if the child wants the contact. I know of a woman who’d actually gotten her daughter to lie to teachers about abuse her father supposedly inflicted on her.

Translation: people suck. PEOPLE suck. Not dads. Not moms. And just as there are great moms who deserve their day to celebrate the great job they did as parents, there are MANY great dads who deserve their day too.

So, ladies, you’ve got 364 days of the year when you can bash your ex. How about letting the REAL dads enjoy Father’s Day, free of reminders of a few of their peers who aren’t as great as they are. Otherwise.. well, you just come off sounding like a douche. Just like your ex.

I’ll leave you with a fun fact: the most collect calls of the year are made on – you guessed it! – Father’s Day.

Yep. The REAL dads have got it great.

OH, BABY!!! (Part One)

I’ve spent the past year jotting down ideas for blog posts, but ultimately not doing anything with them. Well, I’m back, baby! And I’ve got a few things on my mind.

Speaking of “baby”, am I alone in noticing a sudden explosion in the number of babies out there lately??? Or, more precisely, a sudden explosion in the numberĀ  of women having babies with partners they’ve known for less than a year? Women who have decided that “HOLY SH*T!!! I’m HOW OLD NOW??? I GOTTA JUMP ON THIS!!!”, as one recently put it?

There are a good number of them in the hood lately. One can imagine finding a list like this posted on their fridge:

1) Meet guy with pulse and job. (If he has a child, no problem. This means he’s open to children!)

2) Sell/get rid of everything, move in with guy within three months.

3) Get pregnant.

4) Talk constantly about impending motherhood and other “adult” subjects. (ie: “High taxation on the family”, “Montessori”, “Dr. Spock”…)

5) Post countless pictures of baby/embryo on social network(s) of choice.

Etc.

Back in the day, other women whispered about such women. (“Can you believe it? XYZ is PREGNANT! And it hasn’t even been that long!”) Now, many want to BE that woman. Getting to really know someone, then taking it to that next step just doesn’t work for their schedule, it seems.

I’m not standing on the pulpit, trying to tell people what they should or shouldn’t do. Nor am I trying to dis women. But as they actually make the decision to become pregnant and/or keep the child, it stands to reason that this should be primarily about women. (Her body, her choice, yada, yada..)

Thinking about it now, their logic may be a product of where I live. Vancouver is infamous for its’ next to impossible dating scene, the ratio of women to men being something like 3:1. Great for the guys, not so great for the gals. Complicating matters is the fact that – according to many of my female friends – the guys here are crazy, and – according to many of my male friends – the women here are equally certifiable.

I suppose that it’s inevitable that they’d eventually hook up and make a baby. “Desperate times, desperate measures”, I suppose. But still.. I don’t get it. Maybe we should blame Demi for that baby bump pic that launched a billion copy-cats? At least she can say she was the first.

But what happens when they HAVE their babies? Honestly? Sometimes it can be downright ugly. (No, not the baby!!!)

(Stay tuned for Part Two!)